#2 and I have been working a lot on his Russian history project that I talked about in a preview post. He has been enjoying learning about czars, communism, the Cold War and practicing writing verbs in the past tense with the -ed suffix. It’s amazing how quickly he can understand the big picture of history and political systems, and how slowly he remembers that even though he hears a /t/ sound on a verb, the suffix is -ed. (Will it ever cement in his brain?)
Tonight an interesting editorial was posted in the New York Times, Defining My Dyslexia. The author talks about his own experience as a person with dyslexia, beginning with the labels that other children gave to him. #1 and #2 have experience with being teased and labeled by classmates and peers as stupid, idiot, retarded, etc.
Currently there is a lot of discussion in the “dyslexia world” about defining dyslexia as a gift. Books, conferences, and websites are devoted to discussing the upside of dyslexia….as though the negative doesn’t exist or is a side note. I find this approach slightly nauseating when I am sitting for the thousandth hour correcting the direction of a “b” for #2,watching #1 struggle with writing a paragraph or seeing #3 unable to sound out the word cat. Yes, I believe dyslexia is a gift for my children at times, but sometimes I want to mark the gift “return to sender” and shove it out the window. I know that reframing it has its time and place, but maybe a balanced approach is best.
For years I listened to teachers and administrators talk exclusively about #1’s gifts, as though being in 4th-5th grade and barely able to read, write and spell is just a side note of little importance. I was told he was of above-average intelligence (directly after they told me how intelligent and advanced in math he is) and so if he is reading slightly below average, that’s not really a big deal….it was my job to remember his gifts and forget about the things that are hard for him. I was told not to worry about the areas he struggles in. I was told he doesn’t have a disability because he is good at math. Huh?
I was glad to find someone else that thinks only focusing on the gifts of dyslexia is short sighted. The author wrote:
“Not a disability? My years of functional illiteracy suggest otherwise. Today’s educational environment exacerbates dyslexic weaknesses….Until these disadvantages are removed, “disability” most accurately describes what young dyslexics confront.”
I just wonder how many of the educators that told me not to worry have spent hours with their upper elementary children trying to help them write one paragraph….just one…only to have the parent and child end up in tears because the task is impossible. Have they ever sat down to do a science project and realized their child can’t read the directions for the assignment, let alone read any books for the research portion of the project? How many of those educators have had to open envelopes with standardized test scores that show your child is not only below average, but at the bottom of the district and state for reading and no one in the school seems to care.
But, I was told not to worry each time I brought up my concerns. “He just isn’t a kid that is going to read well because he likes math.” This was a constant refrain and it made no sense to me. “Remember all the things he is good at. Your job is to focus on those things.” It’s terrifying to think what would have happened if I would have left him in a school that ignored his needs while his peers pointed out his weaknesses.
The article continues, “Those affected by unjust diagnoses — like those affected by unjust laws — should protest and help redefine them….I believe that scientific evidence and social observation will continue to show that defining dyslexia based solely on its weaknesses is inaccurate and unjust, and places too grim a burden on young people receiving the diagnosis. A more precise definition of dyslexia would clearly identify the disabilities that go along with it, while recognizing the associated abilities as well. If the dyslexic community could popularize such a definition, then newly diagnosed dyslexics would realize that they, like everyone else, will face their futures with a range of strengths and weaknesses.”
So true. A balanced approach. Fight for it. Your child depends on it.